Many years ago I wrote a paper for my Ph.D. program entitled, Tales of An African Cottonseed, narrated by a Cottonseed who is born in an African cotton field. The cottonseed is picked, cleaned, dyed, whitened, spun into threads and transported to America where she is turned into a pair of Levi jeans. Blending in with all the other woven threads, one can hardly recognize the African Cottonseed anymore.
This simple story is an illustration of my own immigration to America, depicting how an immigrant often feels when they transplant themselves to America. Suddenly, they are cleaned, dyed, whitened -stripped of their original identity, customs and rituals and converted into an American prototype.
Growing up in the Midwest I wanted nothing more than to disappear into the oblivion of middle America. Changing my accent, my clothes, my hair – my whole persona, I began to slowly lose my sense of self, shedding my authentic African cotton and replacing it with a labeled pair of American jeans.
In my private practice, I have worked with many immigrants (and non-immigrants) – who have developed eating disorders, mood disorders and other psychological issues – all in the name of fitting into American culture and becoming unidentifiable. It is my challenge to have them ‘listen’ to the African cottonseed, honoring their culture, customs, rituals and original sense of self. If we all can maintain a sense of pride in where we come from and who we truly are, our country will become more a whole, tolerant and peaceful place.
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