in every moment there is a web of possibility

Subtle Bodies by Dr. Jenni

One can sit silently in their thoughts and write a musical masterpiece, design a magnificent palace, paint a beautiful work of art, invent something miraculous, invite endless amounts of love, happiness, creativity, and inspiration into their lives. Or, one can sit silently in their thoughts and allow the vast, immeasurable ocean that occupies their psyche to slowly desiccate and whither away into nothingness.

Every moment that we are alive presents us with a web of possibility. Imagine yourself as a spider filled with endless proteinaceous spider silk extruding from your spinnerets, just waiting to create something magical. Will you let your precious silk sit idle within your body, mind and soul – tightly wound up inside of yourself with no chance of release? Or will you open up your spinnerets and let whatever juices are flowing in that infinite ocean create something magnificent  – whether that creation is a child, an idea, a creative work, a friendship, a fascinating conversation — in essence, something of which you are infinitely proud.

Do you know that when a baby girl is born she possesses one to two millions egg cells (oocytes) in her ovaries? At puberty these egg cells drop to about 300,000. Only about 400 of these eggs are released during a woman’s reproductive life. The many thousands of oocytes that do not mature degenerate.  Degeneration progresses more rapidly in the 10 to 15 years before menopause. All are gone by menopause.

Unlike the reproductive cycle, if we keep our thoughts active and alive, they will continue to grow and regenerate. However, if we spend our days staring into our television sets or computer screens, if we ingest addictive drugs and alcohol and numb and deaden our psyches, if we complain to our friends and partners day after day about the same, exasperating problems in our lives that we are unable to fix, these possibilities, like the oocytes gradually die.

In the painting above, Subtle Bodies there are what appear to be full-faced, colorful oocytes, jailed oocytes and blackened oocytes. Think of the full-faced oocytes as the ideas and creations in your life that have materialized and come to pass. The jailed oocytes as the ones that are still caged inside of yourself, that you yearn to birth but are unable to access. And the black oocytes as the ideas or creations that will never occur.

In my novel The Gossamer Thread a Holocaust survivor, Isabella houses hundreds of images of the Holocaust and Apartheid South Africa in her mind. She goes on to paint a wealth of paintings that are never discovered until after her death. And her whole life, she lives with these black oocytes haunting her soul.

What are the subtle bodies housed within your psyche that are waiting to be unleashed? Will you keep them jailed within your mind, body and soul your whole existence or will you have faith in yourself and release them into the world? In every moment, there is a web of possibility waiting to be discovered and shared. Do not let them degenerate and deteriorate before they have a chance to be born.