it’s the barks that one day we will miss most…

Wherever I go, she goes — her golden eyes tracking mine with supreme adoration and never-ending worship. Her name is Talula. Weighing in at ninety pounds, she curls her body into a tightly wound ball, sleeping between my husband and I, believing somewhere deep in her soul that she was not born a labrador but a devoted lap-dog.

When guests approach the house she goes ballistic — growling like a verocious pit-bull and barking like a mad dog.  After all, it is her job to ward off potential bad guys and keep her family safe.  My husband spends what seems like twenty minutes at the door attempting to train her. “No barking, Talula!” “Good girl.” “No Talula!” “Sit Talula!”  Visions of our guests falling asleep in front of our house drift through my mind.

Yet when all the play-dates scurry in, she is ready with three or four stuffed animals drooping from her mouth, waiting to jump into the fresh afternoon air and experience the thrill of being alive.

The other day when I was walking her (or rather she was walking me) I thought of a client of mine whose labrador had recently been put to sleep. She was suffering from cancer and there was nothing more the veterinarian was able to do.  It occurred to me as Talula pulled me passed the familiar houses in our neighborhood, that one day her zest for life would slow down and we would long for those crazy barks and leaps into the mid-day air.

As pet-owners, as parents, as people in a rush, we are often irritated by barks, tantrums, overly wild or inappropriate behavior, anything that interrupts us, slows us down or cannot be properly trained . “tiktok downloader” Yet these cries of enthusiasm, these moments of passionate emotion and flashes of endless laughter are the very things that one day we will miss the most.

In my novel The Gossamer Thread one of the main character’s, Steven is struggling with esophageal cancer. In the following excerpt, he takes a hike with his son Jordan :

Continuing up the mountain, they saw an adorable puppy running toward them, full of a keenness and zest for life that is only bestowed upon the youngest of creatures.  The dog ran right up to them, wagging his tail and burrowing his wet nose into Jordan’s hands. Giggling, Jordan patted the puppy.  They watched him run down the mountain just as quickly as he had sprinted up, his lanky legs pulling him forward as he parachuted past  the blustery sky at the edge of the trail.

Smiling, Steven closed his eyes, imagining the angel had sent this puppy straight from heaven to remind him that every moment should be experienced with such gusto. For the first time in a long time, he felt certain that he was meant to undergo his trauma to understand the joys and tender moments that one misses when they are not fully alive and present to life’s hidden delights.